Raising Boys, Building Men


Gothi Redwald OR

A problem exists in modern western society in regards to the way boys are raised and how a great number of adult men behave.

As with all things social and political, a vacuum does not exist for long until it is filled, and over a period of approximately 200 years, coinciding with the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, the behaviour of men has altered and women have in some part filled this gap. I am not talking about the sensitive issues of women’s rights or women in the workplace, but a cultural and spiritual alteration which has had a dire impact on both sexes and family life.

Previous to the Industrial Revolution, fathers and sons worked together and young boys were in the company of men at a much earlier age than at present. The percentage of time in which a young boy grew up with adult men learning what was required behaviour to fit in, succeed and thrive was significantly higher than it is now. Today, boys who are raised by their mother (their fathers being either at work or absent) and taught by female teachers develop a sense of what is required to win the favour of a woman.

On the face of things, there appears nothing wrong with this. In fact, with the explosion of modern problems relating to the abuse and mistreatment of women by men, one might think that the more a man understands how to please a woman, the better things would be. Yet for the last 200 years, boys have been in the company of women for ever longer periods of time and the result has been a development of weaker men, a rise in the abuse of women and what is often termed ‘toxic masculinity’. These problems are interlinked; as boys are raised to please women, over time this can develop into a backlash of behaviour as they move from one extreme to the other (passive to angry) with the root cause been their lack of previously inherent traditional masculinity.

It has consequences in relationships also; in many cases the more a man seeks to please his wife or partner, the less attractive she finds him. This is quite a complex issue and is easily misunderstood, but relates directly to natural instincts rather than conditioned mindset.

In regards to raising a young boy, consider a park scenario. When a mother takes her son to the park, there is often a regular reminder to ‘be careful’, ‘don’t climb too high’ and so forth, whereas, in very general terms, when a father takes his son to the park it is more the case of a ‘get stuck in’ approach.

Young boys, when put together, are wild. Pushing, shoving, dares, noise – these are common characteristics. This energy and need for adventure needs to be understood and put to good use; should it be curtailed and suppressed, there is the danger that, just like a boiling kettle, the pressure will burst out.

I would like to stress in the strongest way possible that these words are not an attack on women or mothers; as a married man in a loving relationship I fully understand the balance that a man and woman / mother and father bring, not just to the raising of children but to our community and society. But I also strongly feel that a huge mistake has been made in the way boys are bought up, both inadvertently due to progress of industry and by design due to the meddling of those who seek to harm us.

Some of the problems we face in the raising of boys are hard to fix. If a father is not around due to work or a divorce, there is not always an instant remedy. In regards to adult males in a busy household with very little spare time (with or without young children) it is also very difficult to make the kind of routine changes to better the relationship you may have not only with your wife / girlfriend but significantly with other men.

However if we take a step back and observe our society and its many ills, we should come to the conclusions that firstly things are not right, secondly that something must be done and thirdly that the only person we have full control of in regards to action is ourselves.

Let’s deal first with the raising of young boys.

A few years ago, a book was published entitled, ‘The Dangerous Book for Boys’ by Conn and Hal Iggulden. It was full of things like how to make a catapult and a short explanation of ‘The Golden Age of Piracy’. Now imagine for one moment what would happen if your six year old son took a catapult into class. I don’t think I need to describe the explosion of chaos that would emanate from the school authorities. Yet last weekend I took my own six year old lad wild camping. We climbed a hill, cooked steaks and then I pulled my old catapult out of my rucksack and we fired stones at a tree stump. His eyes lit up and he told me that it was the best day he’d ever had.

This one small scenario shows that there is a latent need for adventure and excitement in young boys that requires a form of release. My son does okay at school. He is good at maths and his reading and writing skills are also good. But his enthusiasm for sitting in a classroom or general inactivity is low. He will play on computer games and watch TV if the weather is bad, but the difference between action and inactivity can be seen in his eyes.

My eldest lad is nine years old. He is different in some ways to our six year old but still has that need for action and adventure. Over the years I have introduced them to my male friends with the result that they are confident speaking with adult males. They understand what is required to fit in. They know that in order to form a good bond in male circles, the need to please is not high on the agenda as it is when they are with their mother or female teachers. The best results they get from men is when they do something mildly daring or excel physically. At our boxing club they get stuck in and bonds are formed between the coach and the other lads at the club.

I introduced our boys to boxing for one reason – confidence building. I have not set a requirement for them to progress as sporting amateurs and am careful not to live my life through my children. But I know that by standing in front of another lad and trading blows during sparring, they will gain a confidence that nothing else can bring. Some folk fear a debate or argument. But if you have been in a physical exchange with another, an exchange of words holds no fear.

In short, in the raising of boys there should be adventure of a physical and mental nature, strong relationships with other boys and significantly with their father and other responsible men. Further to this, the Odinist father may think a ‘Right of Passage’ is suitable. This should be in three parts and take the form of: ‘Separation’, ‘Ordeal’ and ‘Return’. The manner in which this is arranged would be carefully considered by the boy’s father. A night out alone is a very good example, in much the same way as an Aboriginal boy goes ‘Walkabout’. It takes guts to spend a night under the stars alone; very few folk in our modern world have ever done this. Even those used to camping and such things usually do so in groups. In being alone, one finds out a lot about oneself. Additionally, a blot entitled ‘The Odinic Rite Ritual of Accession into Adulthood’ is available from Tim OR.

In understanding not only their duties to Faith, Folk and Family, a boy must learn how to act amongst men of good standing and calibre. Having proper childhood outlets and understanding who they really are will ensure that true masculinity emerges.

The greatest method of resistance against the cultural and racial destruction of the West is in our male-female relationships, the way we raise our children and the way we interact with our community. Should a man have been raised with little or no understanding of how to act and react as a traditional man should, often through no real fault of his own, he jeopardises his relationship with women and has no basic knowledge on how to stop the same problem arising in his sons.

A man has a duty of care to his woman. His wife or girlfriend does not deserve a boring mate and his sons do deserve a fulfilling upbringing surrounded by good male role models. In the case of a man who has been married for many years, it is important to recall what attracted his wife to him in the first place. As the years roll by, often a man can slowly lose the qualities which made him virile and masculine. If an honest self-appraisal shows this to be the case, changes must be made, yet even simple changes can be difficult. Finding the time and energy to take up a masculine hobby isn’t always easy, yet a simple determination to attend a weekly boxing class or hike mountains once a month can breathe new life into a relationship. There may be a reluctance for the man’s wife or partner to accept this sudden change after a long period of male stagnation, but as the vitality and enthusiasm returns, so will the relationship’s spark. One must remember that women like men because they are men (and vice versa of course).

Men in need of renewed masculine enthusiasm would do well to set aside time to be with other men of a similar ethos. Care must be taken in this case to select the right group of men. Nights out simply getting drunk and complaining are not to be included, but of course a sociable pint after an activity session is perfectly acceptable. The main point to remember is that the group of men you select to engage with hold purposeful ideals. If such a group does not exist, form one – even if consists of just one other man. The group can even go so far as to be a club with a set goal: to raise the standard of behaviour and improve on the things they lack while performing a variety of occasional activities such as working out, sparring, hiking etcetera. What would really sell this to a wife or partner is if the men took their sons along on occasion for such things as camping trips or the local climbing wall. There are all manner of ways these activities can work.

To the man who is single and seeking a mate, it should be understood that lessons learned as a young boy in the company of women are not necessarily the lessons needed to succeed in attracting a potential girlfriend. A young boy is not seeking to sexually stimulate his mother or his female class teacher. He is trying to please her for a non-sexual return. The lessons learned from women during boyhood, if repeated as an adult, will likely bring many female friends but very little success in courtship. His actions will ensure women find him ‘nice’ rather than ‘attractive’ or ‘exciting’. By spending time in the company of traditionally masculine males, the boy would have acted more as nature intends. The element of risk taking that men are prone to; the will to attain a goal; the keenness to compete; the ability to say ‘no’ to something he does not want – these are things that spark the flame of attraction in a woman’s heart. It is primal instinct and as such, this can cause some folk to push against these ideas. In fact, it can cause anger. However, if a child is raised with the proper male-female balance, toxic masculinity does not become an issue. In the modern era with a top-heavy feminine influence on young boys, this balance is redressed as urged in this article, by men taking more time to influence boys. For the young man in his early stages of attempted dating, or even the older man who has failed at attracting a mate, it is a hard task to undo years of failure. This is an incredible shame, as although nature favours the fittest, in many cases it is not genes which have failed the unsuccessful man but simply poor life lessons. In this case, things can be changed. The first stage is a change in attitude. Then comes the excitement of re-education; learning how to walk and talk again. This may sound ridiculous, but this is where things must begin. Talking slower, deeper and with intent. Walking with good posture. Lifting one’s head. Looking folk in the eye. Smiling as one enters a room full of strangers; this acts like a lit beacon to both women and other men. Dressing well. Taking care of oneself. Engaging in adventurous activities and spending time with men. If you do nothing exciting or adventurous, how then can you sell yourself with enthusiasm? Learn to tell a good story. Personal appearance is important but the main quality is self-confidence and the ability to act decisively. Charisma is more important than looks. Men and boys do not need ‘fixing’; they simply need to re-discover who they really are. In boys, the malady of the modern era manifests itself as boredom and lack of enthusiasm. In men, a depression often sets in which women tend not to understand (he has a good job, a lovely wife and three healthy children – what can he possibly be depressed about?) and it is also the case that afflicted men also do not understand what their problem is. The ‘mid-life crisis’ so often joked about is simply nature’s way of breaking through this difficulty, occasionally with unfortunate consequences in terms of their relationship with their wife or partner.

The remedy is to find what passions re-kindle the flame. At the very least, a good start to make before the darkness of unfathomable depression sets in is to begin a regimen of exercise, outdoor activities and talking with other men. Where time is short, a straightforward way of accomplishing this is by going for walks. A weekly woodland walk with a like-minded friend is a great fix. The idea of men’s groups popularised decades ago by the intellectual poet Robert Bly is a good one, provided the calibre of men is good, but the pace of modern life may mean that a buddy system works much better. Individuals are the building blocks of our society; we have to value the individual, i.e. ourselves, if we are to further our faith, folk and family. An individual can seem inconsequential, but we each have the potential to radiate positive energies throughout our community. We must each lead a purposeful life. Great difficulties can be overcome by those who feel they are living with purpose. There are countless tales of men who have been subject to the most difficult scenarios, yet those who can find a purpose after such difficulties are able to live a full and passionate life. By finding our purpose and passing that wisdom to our sons though spending quality time with them, we can build a future that our ancestors would be proud of, and steel ourselves against the onset of depression.

Finally, a word of warning. In recent years the solution to the western decline in traditional masculinity has thrown up some rather dubious responses. It is up to the reader to discern what feels right and what feels wrong; a gut response often speaks volumes. The correct approach to masculinity should ultimately improve relationships with women and strengthen the family unit. You do not need steroids to be a man. You do not need an artificially blown up muscular physique. Nor do you need to drink ten pints every Friday night while moaning about your work and wife. The ultimate goal is to improve our Western society, and this is done one person at a time, by setting an example and by offering yourself and your sons the opportunity to gain the same resilience, vigour and vitality our forefathers had.

I expect this article to raise some eyebrows. But the key is balance; men and boys have become unbalanced and this need to be addressed.

Hail our holy religion of Odinism and the Odinic Rite, which offers balance, a stronger folk-community and a steadfast determination to hold our faith against the destructive Lokian influence of our enemies. The Judeo-Christian influence on our children has been toxic; I urge a return to our ancestral faith for all those who find the modern world perculiar and confusing.

Redwald OR


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The poem ‘If’, by Rudyard Kipling. Worth printing out and framing. For you. And for as many of your sons as you have.


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